the horizon of ever after

Parenthood is really hard.

There are millions of books and blogs and teachings aimed at helping us navigate this stage of life, but there is no crash course on your child, specifically.

There are zero books tailored to the unique daily challenges that arise in your home that can cause you to despair.

From the small— the messes that never seem to get picked up or the child who refuses to sleep through the night, to the large— when your children are sick or hurting and you can’t fix it or when their sinful behavior seems beyond change— it’s all hard. It’s heavy. And I’ve thrown my hands into the air many times in complete frustration over the fact that my children and I are the outliers— the ones the books don’t seem to understand or address.

Can I say something encouraging?

(Something God lovingly whispered to me this morning as I cleaned up yet another potty training accident and had to bite my tongue to keep from yelling)

It isn’t going to get any easier.

That doesn’t sound encouraging at all, does it?

But it is. And let me share why.

In my quiet time this past week I read the following from Robin Meadows. She has several Bible study plans on the Bible app that come straight from her book, Overwhelmed by My Blessings. I started the plan because that is exactly how parenthood feels to me lately!

In one of her plans, she wrote the following:

“I remember one day when my children were young, my husband coming home from work and finding us all sitting in the floor crying. Even me! I was done. Done in, over-done, and undone. I was looking for the place where mothers go to resign.

“I can’t do this anymore,” barely getting the words out to my husband through my sobs. “It’s too much! They don’t listen to me. The house is always a mess. I don’t even have time to do the things that have to be done just to keep us from living in squalor!”

After settling us all down, he later talked to me about a concept I’ve since used again and again. My gentle man said, “Robin, it’s not going to get any easier for quite a while. You’re going to have to decide to accept that and do the best you can.”

With a lot of grumbling and struggling, I began to allow those words to go deep into my heart. I began to see things differently. I started making the choice to accept that my days were going to be boring, mundane and uneventful-----unless I made them more fun. I needed to enjoy, rather than escape. I was always going to be stressed and overwhelmed—unless I learned to give up and accept the fact that with all God had given me, He would also provide a way for me to deal with it in a loving, patient manner.”

This entire devotional completely changed my perspective. I relate to her so strongly, and I desperately needed (and still need) this message.

Life is hard. We are not promised easy. We can read all the helpful parenting books in the world, but the truth of the matter is some days, weeks, or even years are just going to suck. They are going to be hard. They are going to cause us to fall to our knees and call on Jesus again and again. And in those hair-pulling moments, in those tear-streaked moments, the ones we wish we could trade away, we must remember: God will provide for us there. He has given it to us, and he will get us through it. He loves our children even more than we do. And he is able to accomplish what we cannot.

As difficult as it is to extract yourself from the present parenting hardship(s) in front of you, practice moving your thoughts to heaven. To eternity. Pray that God will give you an eternal perspective— that this moment, though tough, is small and fleeting, compared to paradise with Him— where He will wash away this painful world and make all things new.

Remember that it isn’t going to get easier. But by his grace you will grow stronger.

-e

“I need to know that life is not meaningless, my work is not in vain, and the night is almost over. I need to experience something far bigger than myself. Something grand, solid, divine. We must set our gaze upon the horizon of ever after with Jesus.” - Gloria Furman, Missional Motherhood