on body image
This morning I walked past the mirror and saw the years.
I saw the disheveled hair and the dark circles under my eyes. I saw the clothes that don’t fit as well as they used to and the stretch marks on my legs peeking out from under the hem of my shorts.
I sat down to play with my daughters and the waistline of my jeans dug into my belly. I felt irritated that my body is a different size now, softer and looser than it used to be.
Discouragement rushed me like a wave. Disgust and disappointment were close behind.
I let my thoughts run loose. I remembered how I ate “too much” at breakfast. I fixated on the females on my Instagram feed, wondering how I could achieve their style, how I could look more like them. I scolded myself for not being in better shape, for neglecting a routine workout regimen.
Have you been there?
I have. I am there.
20-30 years and two babies later and here I am. There are marks and scars and loose skin and things don’t sit right where they used to. It’s so easy to fixate on what we look like right now and forget what our bodies have been through and what they are capable of.
On the days when my body-image is poor and I realize I am bullying myself over what I look like, I try to remember:
The enemy would love nothing more than to get me preoccupied with the superficial and fading so that I neglect what is unchanging and eternal— God, what He has done, and what He will do through me on this earth (mighty things that have nothing to do with what I look like!)
What goes through the mind is real and hard: the invisible battles at mealtimes, on the scale in a doctor’s office, in fitting rooms, and in a place where you feel like the ugliest one there, but it is not from Jesus. He created you on purpose and for a purpose. And very little of that purpose has anything to do with what you look like, since our looks will change and shift along with the seasons of life.
I think we focus so much on what we look like that we neglect to be grateful that we have XYZ functioning body parts at all. And at the end of the day, there are bigger problems than the number on the scale. And maybe we are thinking too much of ourselves in general, when God calls us to seek Him and love others.
But that is the enemy’s play— to distract and lie to us. May we be stronger than that. May we not let the self-spoken biting words about ourselves take over.
Nourish your body. Move it in moderation. Take the thoughts captive that aren’t from Christ.
There is so much more to you. You are a masterpiece that only starts at the surface, the true magnificence of how God created you is deeper and more wondrous than what the mirror is reflecting back to you.
If you feel like you are caught in an endless cycle of negative thinking about food and your body, I encourage you to reach out and talk to someone. Preoccupation with food, your body, or the scale is is a heavy weight to carry. In fact, it is downright exhausting. I know because I have been there. Freedom is available to you! I have listed some resources below. I am praying for you.
-e
Local help:
More resources: