30-day gentleness challenge
Today I am starting the 30 day gentleness challenge: nothing but kind speech and calm tones for thirty days.
God has convicted me heavily of how I have let my overwhelmed state of mind affect the thermostat of my home— making me irritable, annoyed, and well, downright mean to my husband and kids at times.
Since becoming a mom I have struggled with this. My fuse is short and I am quick to lose my cool when things go south (which in motherhood, can be every hour). I’ve blamed the hormones, the lack of sleep, the busyness of my schedule, even the temperament of my children. But none of these are excuses to sin. And grumbling, complaining, and snapping at everyone that inconveniences me… that’s sinful. and it doesn’t have to be this way. (Praise God!)
As I read recently, “I want to shovel my feelings in the Lord’s direction instead of at my family.” I want to be completely humble and gentle, patient, bearing with everyone in love (Ephesians 4:2).
This is something I will not be able to do in my own strength (sounds obvious, but how often do we try to muscle through it anyway?) and for the next 30 days I want to prioritize progress over perfection, remembering to run to God in prayer over and over, choosing to bite my tongue instead of uttering a harsh word.
My plan is to memorize scripture on kindness and gentleness, to take care of my physical and emotional health (it’s harder to be kind when you are depleted in some capacity), and embrace the toughness of growth.
It will be hard, painful, maybe seemingly impossible at times. It will cause me to run to Jesus. And that is the only hope of life and motherhood!
Discipline and training are good. I’ve thrown a lot of my bad attitudes on other people, and given myself grace for it, but grace isn’t an excuse to not grow.
Just as we train up our children, sometimes we need to train ourselves, too.
I plan to journal throughout the month and share my heart when the 30 days are up.
My steadfast hope is in the following verse: “Let your gentle spirit be known to all. The Lord is near.” Philippians 4:5
-e